This is gonna kill me, but...

Tonight marks the start of the 2009 World Series and as a long time Mets fan I am as conflicted as an observant Jew who sees a sign that says “free bacon.” What to do? Root, root, root for the crosstown rivals because they are a New York team, or throw my support to the Phillies because they’re the National League champs? Both choices make me queasy and I know I’m not alone… if only it was the Dodgers vs. the Angels. Then I wouldn’t have to watch at all and it would be woot woot, bring on the NFL. Gotta love those Saints!

But no. Like the pies that A.J. Burnett keeps throwing in his Yankee teammates faces, Mets fans are getting the pie equivalent by being forced to watch as many as seven games between their two biggest enemies.

Oh sure, we could ignore the series, but to be a Mets fan is to be a glutton for punishment. We’ll watch and we’ll sigh and we’ll hope that Swisher wiffs at another thirteen at bats (is he related to Chuck Knoblauch?) and that Pedro blows a save (although how can you not love the comeback kid?).

I suppose it’s hard to be a good sport when all you can think about are the three dismal seasons the Mets have put us through, not to mention the high price fans had to pay “enjoy” the new Shittyfield, which frankly could burn to the ground for all I care. It’s so cold, sterile and corporate, it made me long for the luxurious afternoons I spent at Wrigley when it didn’t matter who the Cubs were playing, or if they won or lost, only that the peanuts were fresh and that Jack Brickhouse was in the booth.

Speaking of burning to the ground, do you think there is any truth to the rumor that the reason we suffered so this year was because the new stadium was built on ancient burial grounds? Nah. We sucked because the front office under the always inept Jeff Wilpon was further castrated by the Madoff scandal. We sucked because we sent injured players out on the field and didn’t protect uninjured players from improper conditioning. We sucked because our farm system was down to two cows and a bull named Bessie. We sucked because Jerry Manual got spooked and forgot he was once an American League manager of the year. We sucked because  fans who had to take out a second mortgage to bring their family to the ballpark decided that their money was better spent taking the kiddies to the bargain venue, Great Adventure.  We sucked because  we all checked out- owners, managers, coaches, players, fans.

But I digress. Which team will I root for during game one and beyond? I loathe the arrogant Phillies, so that’s out. I guess that leaves the Yankees who I did enjoy watching in the playoffs. A Rod is a star, Jeter is so cute, CC is a monster, Teixera is exciting, Damon when he wakes up is damn good and Mariano Rivera is a god.

Go Yankees. Take the Phils in four so we can resume to our regulalrly scheduled life and begin the countdown to spring training, though Lord knows there is no rush.