This was on my to-do list for today:

• Scan my daughter’s Facebook photos to check out her latest adventure abroad and to make sure that it didn’t involve a combination of alcohol and a Florentine named Alonzo.
• Poke around my news feed to see wuz up with my growing universe of friends (I was shocked to learn that when I broke the 100 mark it wasn’t a world’s record).  BTW, is there anyone left who did not become a fan of Susan Boyle? And is it just me, or does it seem that every seven seconds, someone posts 1000 baby pictures? Yes, yes, they’re all adorable but show me something clever like a two-year old playing poker or an infant watching Seinfeld and laughing
• Say something clever on Twitter.  I am at a loss for words and only have 67 characters left before I’m totally screwed but fortunately I thought of something. I really don’t like Twitter.
• Update my Linked In profile to make sure that the six people who follow me have the very latest information on my whereabouts. Oh wait. That’s Twitter
• Read my favorite blogs and comment on them provided I can correctly identify the secret code in the little box, which only makes me feel bad for those who are visually impaired or who are working without benefit of their reading glasses because they stepped on them, rolled their chair over on them, sat on them or drove over them (I’ve done all four).
• Check my Amazon ranking, Google Analytics and my Weight Watchers points to see how I am faring numerically… Let’s see. My ranking dropped six hundred thousand points, but fortunately this has no bearing on the Dow… 100 less people visited my website this week, but yay, there was a 15% increase in new users who found me after going to the Sara Lee Bakery site…. Speaking of cake, it’s only 11 AM and according to my food diary, I have eaten all of my points and will have to subsist on endamame  unless I borrow against tomorrow’s points, although I still haven’t paid back last weeks points yets and there is still one box of Rocky Road macaroons in the cabinet.  Time for the electrical tape!
• Check WordPress to see if there are any comments on my latest blog waiting to be approved. No? There  are none? Not even spam? Damn those filters work good.
• Gotta dance. Gotta make the donuts. Gotta keep up with this blog or else… or else…. I have no idea. You tell me.

Now here’s the thing. All of these items on my to-do list take valuable time and effort, say nothing of inspiration and determination. Question is, to what end? There is a no-refund policy on precious minutes wasted answering the quiz, 5 Places You’d Like to Live if You Married Rich or any improvement to mankind when we watch a You Tube video of Friday Night Cranks. Makes me wonder about going cold turkey and becoming a social network drop out. Just disappearing from the radar, never to be heard from again.

Nice concepet if you can get it, but oh look. Someone just friended me.  Who cares if Ididn’t like them in high school? Can’t wait to check out their photos. Wow. Here’s a headline: Former Cheerleader Ate A Year’s Worth of Points in one Week!

Mystery thrillers are, well, a mystery to me.  Not only I am in awe of writers who consistently turn out suspenseful, hang-on-to-your-hats stories, I wonder how they sleep at night. Do they wake up in terror that a character they created is going to personally pay a visit? Do they hear strange noises in their quiet house and immediately think they are in danger? Frankly, I couldn’t write those kinds of books. Life is scary enough without having to invent terrifying situations.  But that being said, I know that the courageous writers who aren’t afraid to look under their kids’s beds at night or walk through an empty parking garage at 3AM have a great following for a reason.

That is why I am excited to tell you about a new book from my awesome writer’s group, The Girlfriends Cyber Circuit. We are a group of talented women authors who help one another get the word out when we have a great new read to introduce. This month, I am happy to welcome our newest member, mystery writer, April Henry. She has teamed up co-author, Lis Wiehl (a legal analyst on Fox) and just released a Triple Threat Mystery called FACE OF BETRAYAL.

Here is the story: When 17-year-old Senate page Katie Converse goes missing on her Christmas break near her parents’ Victorian home in Portland, Ore., law enforcement and the media go into overdrive in a search for clues. Three friends at the pinnacle of their respective careers–Allison Pierce, a federal prosecutor; Cassidy Shaw, a crime reporter; and Nicole Hedges, an FBI special agent–soon discover that Katie wasn’t the picture of innocence painted by her parents. Did Katie run away to escape their stifling demands? Was she having an affair with the senator who sponsored her as a page? Has she been kidnapped? Is she the victim of a serial killer?

About the Authors
Don’t mess with April. She knows how to kill you in a two-dozen different ways. She makes up for a peaceful childhood in an intact home by killing off fictional characters. April had one detour on her path to destruction: when she was 12 she sent a short story about a six-foot tall frog who loved peanut butter to noted children’s author Roald Dahl. He liked it so much he arranged to have it published in an international children’s magazine.

By the time she was in her 30s, April had come to terms with her childhood and started writing about hit men, drug dealers, and serial killers. She has published six mysteries and thrillers, with five more under contract. Her books have gotten starred
reviews, been on Booksense (twice!), translated into four languages, short-listed for the Oregon Book Award, and chosen as a Quick Pick by the American Library Association.

April co-wrote Face of Betrayal with Lis Wiehl, a legal analyst on FOX. They have a contract for three more Triple Threat mysteries.

Great Buzz:
Publishers Weekly
“A sizzling political thriller… The seamless plot offers a plethora of twists and turns.”

Romantic Times:
4.5 stars [and they don’t give out five stars] “Wiehl and Henry have penned a winner that seems to come straight from the headlines. Captivating suspense, coupled with tightly written prose, will entertain and intrigue.”

Ingram:
“Readers are in for a treat as trial lawyer/commentator Lis Wiehl and mystery author April Henry team up for a political thriller.”

Links:
April’s Website: aprilhenrymysteries.com
April’s blog: aprilhenry.livejournal.com

Last week, April was good enough to answer my questions:

If you could get a rave review in “People” magazine, what would you want it to say about your new book?

“You won’t want to put down this page-turning crowd-pleaser with a twist you won’t see coming. This is already slated for the big screen next year.”

Writing a letter can be daunting. How do you even begin the process of writing a novel? Does it start with a title? A character?A plot? All or none of the above?

Since I write mysteries and thrillers, I’m all about the plot. I start with a “What if?” Take a stand alone book I’m working on now. What if a pizza delivery girl was kidnapped? How would they search for her? What if evidence convinced the authorities she was dead? What if her friends were equally convinced that she was still alive?

I have to print off every draft page, which means that by the time I’m done, I’ve gone through two trees in Oregon. What is your process of getting out a first whole draft? How long might it take?
Since I live in Oregon, I demand that you show me where those two trees used to be.

I do most of my writing and editing on the computer.  Sometimes I outline; sometimes I don’t. For these joint books with Lis Wiehl, we will go back and forth on the plot until we have a basic idea of where we want to go, then most of the writing is done on the computer. It’s only when we’re revising a final draft that I print things out. Now that’s I’m not working full time, I could probably write a book in six months – maybe less.

Do you have show and tell with your first draft? Who do you trust for honest reaction, or is so fragile you show it to one you love who you know will be kind?

When it’s a chapter, I’ll often read it aloud to my 13 year old daughter. She has an impeccable ear for clunkiness, and just hearing myself reading it aloud helps.

Anything I’m not certain about I might show my friend (and author in her own right) Debby Garfinkle. I’m confident enough now of my relationship with my agent that I will also show her a partial and ask her what she thinks. And for my mysteries, I’ll ask my friend and fellow author Gregg Main what he thinks.

What is one of the nicest compliments that you have ever received about your book(s)?

Seeing kids on myspace who say they hate to read but love my young adult books.

Whose writing talent do you greatly admire, and which successful author makes you want to gobsmack your head because you cannot believe they’ve had a bestseller(s)?

Scott Turow writes wonderful books that make me totally believe in them. On the flip side, I loved Scott Smith’s first book, but I HATED The Ruins. With a passion. The thing was, I think the author hated his characters.  He mocked them, tortured them, and then he killed them. All of them. They all died.

What has brought you the greatest joy since you were published, and what has caused you the greatest angst?

Bad reviews, even if they are just on someone’s blog. I wince. I can barely look even at good reviews.

Thanks April! Best of look with your mystery series and sweet dreams!

Great questions from Book Club Moderator, Donna Diamond

In the the nearly twenty years since my first book was published (a non-fiction guide to relocating to Florida), I have been interviewed by newspaper and magazine reporters, radio and TV talk show hosts, book club leaders and of late, bloggers. I have been asked great questions, silly questions, lame questions and questions for which there was no real answer, only a chance for the interviewer to hear himself show off his literary prowess.

I have been interviewed by the greats (Oprah), the likable (Connie Chung), the memorable (a morning TV show host in Cleveland who picked his nose when we went to commercial) and the extremely knowledgeable (Larry Davidson- a book maven from Long Island who rivals James Lipton when it comes to doing his homework).

In response, I have been witty, serious, introspective (why do all of my books have airport and hospital scenes- I have no clue) and downright embarrassed (note to self: memorize your character’s names from your earlier books so that you don’t sound like you didn’t read the book let alone write it).

Frankly, I have heard myself answer enough questions that I am ready to take a breather. Now I would like to turn the tables and do one-on-one interviews with readers. If you have read one or more of my books and would like me to interview you for this blog, shoot me an e-mail (saralee@saraleerosenberg.com).

It is not imperative that you loved my  book(s) although of course if you didn’t, I’m going to ask why not. But here is what I really want to know- who are you reading and what do you think; if you were an agent or editor, what kind of books would you love to land on your desk; how do you decide what to read; how much time do you give a book before  you quit on it, what books have changed you, annoyed you, overjoyed you… Are you in? Hope so.

Meanwhile, back to the interviews. I am preparing for an upcoming podcast called “Coffee with an Author” on  www.ijusfinished.com. It’s part of the Blog Talk Radio network and it will air live next Monday, April 20 at 11AM EST- a whole hour of chat with book lover host Naomi Giroux and myself. I hope to hear myself say something pithy and new. I’m sure Naomi hopes the same thing.

Stay tuned!

I am a big fan of vacations, meditations, relaxation and any other ation that renews your spirit and is still legal. So naturally,  articles about the latest experiences that promise soothing benefits will catch my eye. But of late, I am reading things that give me pause.  Have we exhausted all the good forms of enlightenment and are now down to the you’re-joking, that’s-crazy methods? I thought that some spa treatments were way out there, like the hot herbal seaweed wraps that are not to be confused with your lunch. But get a load of these up and coming treatments in the name of wellness:

Ear Coning… Sounds like something a mean teacher would do to a kid who misbehaved in class. But no, this is a powerful, ancient healing art, also knows as ear candling, that was used in initiation ceremonies by the Egyptians, Mayans, Tibetans and nasty frat boys during Hell Week. Sadly the fine art was lost to modern civilization until the ladies who thread your eyebrows brought it back.

Ear coning offers emotional clearing, auric cleansing, realignment of the subtle energy flows,sharpening of mental functioning, detoxification of the sinus and lymph systems and mostly, it promises to  clear out the debris from nerve endings allowing for clear vibrational flow.

Those sounds like good things, but not sure I’d enjoy having a fired cone with herbal smoke blowing in my ear canal, unless perhaps the cone was attached to Brad Pitt. Meanwhile, they say that this is a very relaxing and non invasive experience, with the healing part coming from eleven blends of oils and extracts like Easter Lily, Sagebrush and Cat’s Ears.  It seems a tad witch-crafty to me, but if you know someone who never listens to you, this could be the cure!

Faceology…  I like facials and the immediate results- a nice, healthy glow and a smooth, silky skin that can only come with somebody slapping nice-smelling goop on your face for an hour. But faceology is different. It’s like going ten rounds in the ring with a heavyweight boxer and not coming out the champ.

In wellness centers in California, you can get a 90-minute treatment that is a combination of reiki, reflexology and emotional-freedom techniques.  What is an emotional freedom technique and does it hurt worse than a bikini wax performed by an angry Russian woman? This is where it gets a little dicey. According to the article, even though the treatment is for your face, you have to get naked or the bad energy won’t have any exit points (I’m trying to imagine little flashing signs that say, Bad Energy This Way).  Next they butter you up with microdermabrasion crystals like lavender and cloves followed by serums and oils so you’re ready to pop into the oven. Then comes the tap, tap, tapping, which turns out to be more like banging on your facial bones with a stone pestle. All this to ease your tension and get rid of negative energy. Isn’t that what a good bottle of red wine is for? And chocolate?

Embedded Foods…  Speaking of chocolate, it represents my favorite food group and lucky me.  Today there is a product called Intentional Chocolate, a box of six raspberry triangles that is loaded with monks’ meditations. Or how about H2OM, which comes embedded positivity? I’m not making this up. The latest trend in foods are enlightened edibles and apparently like ear coning, they have been around for centuries. Then again so have men with a terrible sense of direction.

Anyway, if you are inclined to indulge, you can buy H2OM’s  bottled water infused with wishes for love, joy and good health, and Intentional Chocolates use special recording devices to capture the electromagnetic brain waves of meditating Tibetan monks so that their good vibes can be spread over their candy, which will improve your mood by 67%. Of course so will winning the lottery, but the candy is a sure thing.

Gimmicky? Probably. Then again, what do you think water blessed by the Pope goes for on Ebay? Don’t ask. Meanwhile, count on me to keep you up to date on the latest developments in spiritual renewal. Although frankly, a good movie and a big bag of popcorn are still my preferred antidotes of choice.