Have I mentioned how much I love being a part of the Girlfriends Cyber Circuit? Of course I have. This is a group of wonderful and talented women authors who have teamed up to help spread the word about each others books. In this world of what’s-in-it-for-me, it is a delight to be a part of an effort to build bridges… especially ones that lead to great reads.

Today I’m happy to share a delightful, inventive novel from Melissa Clark called SWIMMING UPSTREAM, SLOWLY (Broadway Books/Random House, 2006) Love that title!!!! It’s about, of all things, sperm. Did I tell you it was inventive? Here is what Alan Alda, had to say about it:

“Melissa Clark starts with an idea so convincingly scary it’s amazing she can play it out in such a funny, moving, and sexy way. But, boy, does she ever.”
—Alan Alda, bestselling author of Never Have Your Dog Stuffed

Melissa and I exchanged emails so that I could learn more about her book.

Tell us about your latest release and the inspiration behind it.

“Swimming Upstream, Slowly” is a novel about Sasha Salter, who wakes up one day to find she is pregnant. Only problem is she hasn’t had sex in over 2 years. The doctor’s diagnosis is that Sasha’s body has been harboring a ‘lazy sperm’. Sasha must now open up the Pandora’s box of her past loves to figure out which of her exes is the father - and what the future holds in store.

The idea was born because I was having lunch with a friend and overate. I lifted my shirt to expose my bloated belly and the friend said, half joking, “Are you sure you’re not pregnant?” and I said, “Yeah, right, from a lazy sperm.” I went home that night and started outlining the idea for a movie. I decided, eventually, to write it as a novel instead

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If you were in charge of casting the movie adaptation of your book, who gets the call?

Natalie Portman gets the first call. I think she could bring depth and humor to the character. If she’s busy making another movie or doing something wonderfully humanitarian we give Jennifer Gardner a jingle. She’s likable, vulnerable. If she’s having a baby then we try Drew Barrymore because she has nailed these roles in the past. There are lots of male parts in this movie, too. I’d love to see Emile Hirsch do a romantic comedy.

Could you please tell us a little about your writing background?

My dad is a writer, so I was always playing on his typewriter and writing on legal steno pads. I wrote short stories from the time that I could write. I studied writing and literature in both college and graduate school. In my 20’s to mid-30’s I worked as a writer in television. I created a kid’s show called “Braceface” which ran for 5 seasons. I loved that experience, but really wanted to write a novel, so I quit my own show and set out to write “Swimming Upstream, Slowly.” It was the best risk I’ve ever taken!

Is writing your main job? If not, what do you do for your real source of income and how does it impact your writing?

I still consider writing my main job even though I’m now teaching at the college level. In between grading, preparing lectures, meeting with students, etc. I somehow manage to find time to write. When I wrote “Swimming…” it was my only job. I had the luxury of time and money from the TV show. Now, my writing time is more precious because it is limited.

What comes most naturally for you to write, dialogue? plot? character? And what’s hardest?

I love writing dialogue. I’ve written a few plays in the past and found it incredibly satisfying. I learn so much about my characters through what they say. I often have the feeling that they speak through me and I’m just listening and transcribing their words. I know a lot of writers feel this way. It’s hard for me to slow down and be descriptive - really describe a setting or something. I am very aware of this and tried to do it more consciously in the new book.

What is one of the nicest compliments that you have ever received about your book(s)?

I

read it in one sitting.” Since it took a year and three months to write, I am amazed and flattered when someone tells me they zipped through it.

Did you have any input on the cover, and are you happy with the finished product?

I was actually very disappointed with the cover at first. I was under the false impression that I had a say in the cover. I suggested a few ideas and then showed them a piece of art I saw at the Venice Art Walk. They were all received with a lukewarm attitude. Once day I got an email titled, “Cover!!!!!!” There were so many exclamation points that I knew I was in trouble. When the cover downloaded, I broke out in tears. A girl blowing bubbles was NOT how I saw my cover. Who was that girl, anyway? Why was she blowing bubbles? After calming down, I phoned the editor and explained my dismay. They made some compromises, like removing the almost-exposed breast and some other things that irked me. Clearly I have not made peace with the cover yet, however, I do think it pops and people have told me that they bought the book BECAUSE of the cover, so I’m humbled by that

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What do you love most about this book?

I appreciate this question because I feel a little weird loving it so much. I feel genuinely tender toward my characters and feel very disconnected to the fact that I created them. I appreciate their personalities and foibles. Every time I reread the book, I enjoy going on the journey with them all over again. When I was writing the book I had that swoony feeling of romantic love. I couldn’t stop thinking about it, I bumped into things all the time, etc. I’ve never told anyone this before!

What’s the most surprising thing that has happened to you on your publishing journey? Have you learned things about the industry you never knew before?

I was invited to speak at the Carmel Authors and Ideas Festival. There is a famous food writer named Melissa Clark who writes for the NY Times and I was sure they meant to invite her. I wined and dined with the likes of Frank McCourt and Elizabeth Edwards. I gave a talk during which I explained that I thought they invited the wrong Melissa Clark. The audience thought it was hysterical. They were cracking up, but I was really venting my insecurity. The head of the program came up to me after the reading and said it was great, but never assured me… a few months later a friend, after hearing that story, told me she knew the other Melissa Clark - they had been in a wedding together - and gave me her email. I wrote about that experience and she replied, “That’s okay, everyone thinks I wrote the lazy sperm book.

Finally, what’s next for you?

I JUST completed a draft of a new novel, “Imperfect”. It is another medical anomaly type of story, but very different than “Swimming…” This one is more of a coming-of-age story. I sent it to my agent last week and am now on pins and needles waiting for her response.

Good luck Melissa. We know we will be hearing much more from you and look forward to it!!!

About the Author: Melissa Clark is the creator and executive producer of the award-winning television series, ‘Braceface’, and has written for shows on the Disney Channel, Cartoon Network and Fox. She received a master’s degree from the writing program at U.C. Davis, and currently lives in Los Angeles. This is her first novel. To learn more about her, visit her site:

Meet Judy Mizrachi, Founder of WomenWalkers Travelers Service

Through the wonders of Internet, Judy Mizrachi, a woman I have never met, sent me a message on Facebook that in a “pre-friended” era would have constituted stalking. Apparently while checking out our mutual friend, Sheryl Edelman’s, Facebook pictures she was struck by my name- no not Saralee believe it or not, but Rosenberg… her maiden name. She investigated me further as if scanning the list at Ellis Island to see, per chance, if I was a long lost next of kin. I was not (in no small part because Rosenberg is my married name), but she did pick up that I am author of funny books… which is exactly why I AM on Facebook and why I read all my messages.
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Judy said that my books looked like so much fun (they are!!!) and suggested that since she is a lot of fun, too, I might want to write about her and her very unique business on my blog. Gotta hand it to anyone who is that direct! Go Judy!!!!
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Anyway, I did some Internet investigating of my own and discovered that Judy does indeed run a fascinating company called Women Walkers Travel Services. Basically she offers walking tours for women in Israel. But not just any walking tours- they are intended for women like me who are dying to rediscover their inner 19-year olds by bonding with other women and being led by very hot Israeli tour guides on unforgettable 11-day trips that promise laughter, excitement, challenges, and life changing moments. What a great concept! I wanted to know more and interviewed Judy via e-mail. Here is what I learned.
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What inspired you to create a business that urged women to find their inner-19
year old?

Most everything included in the tour, is from experiences I had as a 19-year-old
living in Israel back in 1971 exploring the country from one end to the next with my
friends. That year had a profound impact on my life: I was adventurous, fun-seeking,
uninhibited and unfettered. Basically, I’m still that same 19-year-old, stuck in a 56-year-old woman’s body, desperately trying to go back in time. I drag other women along to help fulfill my own selfish fantasy. None of them have complained so far.

How would you say that your tour program has changed since its inception?

For one thing, the hikes have gotten much more rigorous and exciting. I want the
women to feel empowered by their accomplishments on the trip. For another, I started
out with a tour guide who was 50 years old. That does not satisfy the imaginings
of us 19-year-olds. All my tour guides are now required to be no older than 29
and hot.

In what ways have your participants influenced the way the tour has evolved?

On my very first tour, five of the women came with hiking poles, which I had never seen before. At first, I was a bit freaked out since these were older women and I thought they were using canes (not something that you would ideally like to see on a hiking tour). But after realizing how useful they are in helping with balance issues,I began recommending them on subsequent tours and they’ve been a big hit. In addition, since the first tour, I have found that the women are most happy when they are challenged and so I have increased the length and difficulty of the hikes.

When did you first begin the Jesus Walk and how did that come about?

I am actually doing my first Jesus Walk this coming April with a group of 9 women. I came across the Jesus Trail tour on Google. It is the brainchild of two young hikers: one an Israeli Jewish entrepreneur and the other, a Mennonite from Philadelphia. They also found each other quite accidentally on the internet and had come up with the idea of mapping out the trails that Jesus would have walked from his home in Nazareth to the many places that Christians visit on a typical tour. Instead of going from sight to sight by bus, the tour enables Christians to actually walk on the same paths that Jesus would have walked. While my women-only tours include both Christian and Jewish participants, a Christian hiking tour appealed to me since it also addresses a special niche. The feedback has been tremendous and I look forward to showing Christian tourists an opportunity to enjoy the beauty of Israel.

Are your tour groups made up of all Jewish or all Christian women, or are they
interfaith?

The beauty of the tour is that there is no religious bent so I do get a mixed group of
both Christian and Jewish women which has truly been a wonderful experience.As a group we visit both Christian and Jewish sights which often promotes better understanding of one another and wonderful dialogue.

Would you say that your program is best suited for a woman who has traveled to
Israel before, or one who has never been?

When I first began the tours, I was sure that it would attract only those women who had been to Israel before. But I have found that many of my participants are first time visitors and had actively pursued a nontraditional tour. I think that’s the way that tourism is headed- towards small-group more active hands-on tourism. I firmly believe that the only way to immerse oneself in the culture of a place is by allowing one’s feet to wander along then paths.

Can you accommodate women who are not physically fit or who may have
disabilities?

This is a trip for fit and active women. Unfortunately, despite the amount of time I
spend describing the degree of difficulty, I still have women joining with physical ailments, such as injured knees. When this happens, we do our best to help them. In general, the women are very supportive of one another.

You say that the trip is life changing. Do you find that women return to embrace their religion more, or is the impact more holistic?

It’s interesting that many women who choose the tour are going through a major life change, such as a divorce, a death, an illness, etc. It seems as though they picked the tour first, because they wanted to go to Israel, next, because it was an all women group and last because it presented challenges. Over the course of the tour we spend evenings talking and getting to know one another and becoming a real family. This can be quite healing.The hikes afford an opportunity to push the boundaries and to experience real empowerment. Israel oozes with spirituality and it is impossible not to feel it at some point on the tour. Everyone returns home changed in some way as a result of all of this.

Can you share a funny incident? A meaningful one?

I’ve had so many funny and meaningful incidents that I feel that I could almost write
a book. One woman from Australia who joined my tour had a physical impairment

in which she retained water in her legs. The first day I saw her, I noticed a limp and
was a bit taken aback. But she was a real trooper and managed to keep up with the
group despite her disability. Then, one night, we did a moonlit hike and I saw her that
she was frantic because she had complete night blindness. I made the decision that
she should probably skip this one hike when one of the other participants, grabbed
her by her arm and said that she would help her through the hike. This wonderful
woman held her arm and gave her minute by minute directions as to where to place her
feet each step of the way. The two of them finished this difficult three hour hike side-by-side. It was very poignant and a true testimony to the strength and compassion that we women have.

And now a funny memory. As most of the women on this tour are 40 and older, we inevitably are in need of a bathroom, or at the very least a non-conspicous spot out in nature to relieve our burdensome bladders every half hour or so. The bus driver and guide understand
this almost immediately and make great efforts to stop whenever one of us requests. On one tour, the bus was acting up so instead of arriving at our destination in an hour, it took two. This was after a long arduous day and it was late at night. We were all totally wiped out so we all fell asleep and no one asked for a pit stop. Upon arrival at our destination, the bus driver stood up and with great pride and candor and in his broken English struggled to give us what he must have considered to be
the ultimate compliment: “You amazing womens. This first time I drive two hours and not stop for you pee.”

Do you ever aspire to lead walking tours in other countries?

In fact, my current tour guide does hiking tours in China and in Russia and we are
discussing the possibility of beginning hikes there as well.

Do you get asked to lead tours for families? Do you think you will do that?

I am doing my first small family tour this summer in August. Right now there are
five members and we’re waiting to hear if more plan on joining. It’s great fun because I’m able to work together with them to plan a customized tour that they are involved in. For me hearing their excitment about going to Israel and seeing it in a most unique way is wonderful.

If you would like to know more about this extraordinary walking tour/friendshipmaking/trip of a lifetime, check out Judy’s site: www.womenwalkers.com. email is judy@womenwalkers.com Phone is 888-340-3867.

Breasts were huge for a while. Not cup size— the topic. We all know someone who went with reducing or enlarging, like ordering pictures at CVS. But this just in. Women are so done with the breast obsession. The newest “must have” body part is a flat stomach ( a good thing) as opposed to flat chest (which according to Hollywood and ex-husbands, is a bad thing).

Not sure who decided it was time to move from boobs to bellies, but apparently the media got the memo. Every magazine cover, every new diet book, every Internet teaser ad is all about the latest methods women can use to turn from the before picture into JoJo Six Pack.

Sure, medical studies have always shown that the jiggle in the mid-section significantly increased the risk of strokes and heart attacks, but so does standing in a poorly lit dressing room trying on bathing suits within five years of giving birth. And if we’re being honest, the fantasy of having perfect-looking abs isn’t because of the health benefits, it’s because of the despair of sitting down and watching our tummy roll pop over our jeans like an inflatable pool toy. It’s because we’re tired of having to always suit up in foundation armor that contains so much Lycra, if someone gets too close with a cigarette, we’ll blow like a Goodyear tire. It’s because we look pregnant from the side, even though we may be old enough for Medicare to cover our maternity benefits.

And how to achieve this dream of flat abs? You can go the Rachel Ray/Oprah route and live on acai berries (harvested in the rainforests of Brazil) and colon cleansers (harvested in the factories of S.C. Johnson, home to Lemon Pledge). Just munch on pills containing a magic fruit extract while enjoying a daily, do-it-yourself colonoscopy Trouble is you could lose a vital organ, which explains the sudden weight loss.

Or, try the Prevention Magazine Flat Belly Diet. Editors there created a special program targeted to break up the flab like it was an out-of-control party (which it is). They snag you with the requirement that you MUST eat a MUFA at every meal. A MUFA is a monounsaturated fatty acid, aka dark chocolate, peanut butter, avocados, nuts and olives… No! I can’t eat one more 1/4 cup of semi-sweet Nestles morsels.

But here is the kicker. Coffee and tea are on the don’t list, which for me is a deal breaker. Take away my cheeseburgers and fries, but touch my Dunkin Donut’s Hazelnut coffee and it will get ugly. What is the crime coffee and tea commit? They cause gas and bloat (true) but imagine us without our caffeine fix? Call in the National Guard.

Now in all fairness, after the first four days they say if you must imbibe in coffee and tea, you can but do so at your own peril. Which is the equivalent of your mother saying, “Fine. Take the car out in the middle of a blizzard, but you know how I feel.” The other oddity is that they want you to concoct a witch’s brew that involves mint leaves, cucumber and grated ginger root and drink it all day. I’m not saying it won’t work, I’m just saying no thank you.

So where do I net out? The same place I always do. I’ll cut down on the crap, be diligent about  my morning walk, drink lots of water and enjoy life. Yes, I would love to lose my gut, but never my instincts. Or my mind. Give me back my coffee and then we’ll talk.

Here is the latest from the Girlfriends Cyber Circuit…..

Malena Lott writes humorous and heartfelt mainstream women’s fiction novels. With national speaking experience, she is a brand and marketing consultant and facilitates personal and professional development workshops for women. Dating da Vinci is Malena Lott’s second novel. Lott is a married mother of three and resides in Oklahoma. Lott invites you to her web site where she has posted cooking videos, contests and an excerpt of the first chapter: www.malenalott.com.