My favorite Long Island authors Carol Hoenig, Ellen Meister, Brenda Janowitz, Debbi Honorof and Moi

Several months ago, I received an email from the very enthusiastic Tony Iovino  of the Oceanside, Long Island Kiwanis Club. He is the Event Chair of the now third annual Summer Gazebo Readings in the park and was hoping I would join him on June 29 to read from one of my novels. You know I said yes because there is nothing that I love more than meeting and greeting readers (especially the ones who laugh at my jokes). I also love appearing with my Roadie Author Friends, Carol Hoenig, Ellen Meister, and Brenda Janowitz. We were joined by our friend and mentor, Debbi Honorof, Book Editor of Long Island Woman magazine.

Truth be told, Debbi was the matchmaker that brought us together for lunch only a year ago and we have  been moving about the cabin as the four Musketeers ever since. These are great ladies, talented authors, and downright funny people. Every gathering means lots to talk about (this week it was the fallout from bestselling author Alice Hoffman’s gone postal fiasco); laugh about (our shared experiences getting our parents to take their cell phones); ask about (kids, parents, husbands, agents) and think about (”What do you think about this device for my novel?). Honestly, I can’t remember life before I met these wonderful friends.

Anyway, the evening was a huge success (in spite of the poorly timed downpour that started an hour before show time). The sun came out, a nice crowd showed up with lawn chairs, refreshments were served, raffles were sold (Ellen Meister won $27!!!!) and then Debbi Honorof introduced each of us with a very warm welcome.

I read a few pages from Dear Neighbor, Drop Dead, but was very excited (and nervous) because I also decided to read the first few pages of my new novel, Beat it! This is a rip-roaringingly fun and touching story that I think readers will love. Here is the idea:

Seventeen years after a deadbeat mom runs away to become a rockstar/drummer, a hit record makes her rich and gives her hope of reconnecting with her three grown children, one of whom is expecting her first baby. A documentary filmmaker the mother commissioned to videotape the reunion is unfortunately too slow to duck. Perhaps he was ill advised to mention that his affair with h er was one of the real reasons she left.

I am happy to report that the reading got a huge applause and I was blown away by how many people came up to me afterward to tell me to keep going- they loved it! Believe me, it made a huge impact on me. The next morning I got right back to work with uplifted spirits.

Tony, please ask me back for next summer’s Gazebo Readings. The answer is yes!

The crowd gathers after the rain stops

A very pregnant Brenda toughed it out and the audience loved her!

Ellen Meister reading from The Smart One (You must read this!)

Carol Hoenig reading from Without Grace, her award winning debut novel

What I love best about being part of the Girlfriends Cyber Circuit, a group of talented women authors who help spread the word about great new books, is that I get the pleasure of reading and reviewing some of the most wonderful and original works of fiction. Maybe a better name for us would be the WWW- wise, wonderful women. And while we’re at it, let’s add one more W for witty!

Author Sheila Curran

The newest novel to share with you is titled, EVERYONE SHE LOVES, by the talented, insightful Sheila Curran. This is her second novel after DIANA LIVELY IS FALLING DOWN (which btw, Jodi Picoult LOVED). Here is a summary of the rich, beautifully told story:

A wise and triumphant novel about powerful bonds among four women who’ve come of age together only to discover that – when it comes to the essentials – life’s little instruction book will always need revising.

Penelope Cameron, loving mother, devoted wife and generous philanthropist, has convinced her husband and four closest friends to sign an outlandish pact. If Penelope should die before her two daughters are eighteen, her husband  will not remarry without the permission of Penelope’s sister and three college roommates.  For years, this contract gathers dust until the unthinkable happens.  Suddenly, everyone she loved must find their way in a world without Penelope.

For Lucy Vargas, Penelope’s best friend, and a second mother to her daughters, nothing seems more natural than to welcome them into a home that had once belonged to their family, a lovely, sprawling, bed and breakfast on the beach.  This bequest was only one of the many ways in which Penelope had supported Lucy’s career as a painter, declaring her talent too important to squander.  But now, in the wake of a disaster that only lovable, worrisome Penelope could have predicted, Lucy has put her work on hold as she and Penelope’s husband, Joey, blindly grasp at anything that will keep the girls from sinking under the weight of their grief.

With the help of family and friends, the children slowly rebuild new lives. But just when things start to come together, the fragile serenity they have gained is suddenly threatened from within and the unbreakable bonds they share seem likely to dissolve after all.

In this moving and uplifting novel, Sheila Curran explores the faith one woman placed in her dearest friends, the care she took to protect her family, and the many ways in which romantic entanglements will confound and confuse even the most determined of planners. A story about growing up and moving on, about the sacrifices people make for one another, about the timeless legacy of love, Everyone She Loved is, above all, about the abiding strength of friendship.

Check out these amazing reviews:

“EVERYONE SHE LOVED is peopled with women of strong appetites—for love, for sex, for food—and Sheila Curran has amazing insight into the love-hate relationship that women have with each other and their own bodies. Curran is a beautiful writer, both witty and evocative, and she knows how to keep a reader riveted. I was up way past my bedtime, unable to stop turning pages. I had to know what happened to this family and their tight-bound troupe of friends as they meddled and muddled toward hope and new beginnings in the wake devastating loss. I fell in love with them all, from artistic, earthy Lucy, to broken little Tessa, to the oh-so-tightly-wound and mercurial Clover. Read this book, then pass it on to your dearest friend. She’ll thank you.”  Joshilyn Jackson, Gods in Alabama, Between, Georgia, The Girl Who Stoppped Swimming

“Sheila Curran writes the novels that readers love — full of emotional complexity and rich plot twists, novels that echo our own deep desires and greatest fears. In her second novel, she takes on themes that touch us all — love, loss, motherhood, wifehood, and the sisterhood of friendship. It isn’t so much that Curran has found her greatest muse in the unbreakable bonds between women, but that the unbreakable bonds between women have have found their greatest writer in Sheila Curran.” — Julianna Baggott, best selling author of numerous books including  THE PRETEND WIFE, MY HUSBANDS SWEETHEARTS, THE PRINCE OF FENWAY PARK

“Penelope Cameron May’s unusual last request sets off the action in this riveting novel of love and friendship, betrayal and lies. Sheila Curran draws the reader in and this inventive book won’t let go. Prepare to be surprised and moved. I read it in one delicious gulp.”  Masha Hamilton, THE DISTANCE BETWEEN US, THE CAMEL BOOKMOBILE

Whoever thought death could be so complicated?  Or that love could demand a task force, or that after so many broken hearts, one woman’s will could leave a legacy of such healing? Penelope Cameron, even in death, makes the lives of everyone around her richer-and that includes us, the readers of this brilliant novel.  We hold our breath as minor flaws become monsters-when Lucy’s overdraft protection fees bring her to brink of foreclosure, when Joey’s concern for his daughter’s eating disorder leads him into the clutches of conniving fitness charlatan-but in the end, this group of friends and lovers really do take care of each other.  Everyone She Loved is for everyone who knows that love works, even when it’s complicated, for everyone who screws up, and can still do the right thing after all, and for everyone who enjoys a great novel, with friendship and forgiveness at its heart.

Paul Shepherd, Mary McCarthy Award winning writer of More Like Not Running Away

‘Everyone She Loved’ was the voice inside my head - at a time when I first contemplated my own mortality … this could have been my husband, my girlfriends and my children … it raises every emotion and suppressed fear within us all, with a clarity that is both deeply uncomfortable and yet stridently beautiful Julz Graham, television host, DIMENSIONS

BACKSTORY of EVERYONE SHE LOVED:

Books are born in strange places.  This one was conceived in the front seat of a car.

No, not that kind of conception.  My friend Julianna was driving.  Our daughters were chatting in the back seat.  I was talking about an article I’d written for McCall’s about two young girls in Arizona whose parents had died within months of each other.  “Did you know that in some states, if there isn’t a will, the kids can be sent to foster care?”

The girls in my story weren’t so unfortunate.  Their mother had named her best friends, another pair of sisters, as the children’s guardians.   ”Just make sure you chose someone to take over if something happens to you.”

From there we talked about difficult it would be to chose which couple among one’s siblings and friends would best be suited for the job.  Where did one couple’s permissiveness slide into overindulgence, another’s consistency into unbearable strictness?  The idea of dying was hard enough, but figuring out which couple would most love your kids in your absence? Impossible.

We paused in our conversation just long enough for my brain to settle on yet another catastrophic possibility.  “You know what would be worse?” I asked.  “What if I died and John (my husband) married someone awful?  I’d have no control at all!”

Another pause.  “Unless,” I continued.  “I could get him to agree that if he remarried, my sisters and friends would check  out the bride.  Make sure she wasn’t some kind of wicked stepmother.”

And thus was hatched the idea of EVERYONE SHE LOVED, a novel that explores the faith one woman placed in her dearest friends, the care she took to protect her family, and the many ways in which romantic entanglements will confound and confuse even the most determined of planners.

I recently asked Sheila these questions and here was her reply:

Q. If you could get a rave review in “People” magazine, what would you want it to say about your new book?

A. “A riveting, funny, poignant and addictive read.”

Q. Writing a letter can be daunting. How do you even begin the process of writing a novel? Does it start with a title? A character?A plot? All or none of the above?

A. I almost always start with a character and his/her quirks.

Q. I have to print off every draft page, which means that by the time I’m done, I’ve gone through two trees in Oregon. What is your process of getting out a first whole draft? How long might it take?

A. Forever!  At least a couple of years of straight work.

Q.  Do you have show and tell with your first draft?

A.  Oh yes.  Who do you trust for honest reaction, or is so fragile you show it to one you love who you know will be kind?  I send to a bunch of people, including my sisters and friends, and I think they’re pretty honest.  They tell me how to improve things.  My sister Mary Anne Hudnall read every page of every draft.  She was definitely my biggest cheerleader.

Q. What is one of the nicest compliments that you have ever received about your book(s)?

A. The best compliments come from readers who take the time to hunt me down and email me and beg me to hurry up and write another book.  Many tell me they played hooky from work or gave up a night’s sleep to finish because they just had to know what happened.

Q. Whose writing talent do you greatly admire, and which successful author makes you want to gobsmack your head because you cannot believe they’ve had a bestseller(s)?

A. Mary Doria Russell, Joshilyn Jackson, Julianna Baggott, Masha Hamilton, Paul Shepherd, Carlos Eire, William Styron, Wallace Stegner, Jon Jefferson,Zadie Smith, Dennis Lehane, Ann Lamott, Karen Abbott, John Le Carre, John Fowles, Ken Follett, Doris Lessing, Elizabeth George. I wasn’t going to name any bad writer, because I don’t like to be mean, but people like Rush Limbaugh and Anne Coulter are so  vicious and should be shelved in fantasy, not non-fiction, that I will say I’m shocked how many people fall for their venom as though it were anything but hateful.

Q.  My author fantasy is to have one of my novels optioned by Clint Eastwood and he insists that I write the screenplay adaptation. What is your author fantasy?

A. That the director of The Piano, or Sally Potter, Sam Mendez, Alan Ball or Mark Wahlberg wants to make a movie or TV series based on my work.

Q.  What has brought you the greatest joy since you were published, and what has caused you the greatest angst?

A. Oh, hearing that I was able to give someone a few hours of enjoyment is rightup there with the pleasure of having had a great writing day, so lost in my characters that I feel as though they’ve inhabited me.  The greatest angst is worrying about the nearly impossible task of getting copies into readers’ hands.  I know that once they read me, they’ll buy my next book, but it’s getting them to give me a try that’s so challenging.

I know you will love this story and urge you to read it! EVERYONE SHE LOVED was published this month by Atria Books (Simon and Schuster). Check out Sheila’s website www.sheilacurran.com

Just returned from the hugely successful BooksNJ 2009 in Paramus and brava to Arlene Sahraie and her committed staff at the Bergen County Cooperative Library System  for organizing such a great event for readers and writers. Truly it was a coming together of books and the readers who love them.

Was also delighted to be sharing the stage for a panel discussion called, Women Are Characters- Exploring Heroines Who Matter, with the funny and smart novelists, Ellen Meister, Brenda Janowitz and Carol Hoenig. We have been lucky enough to take our act on the road and it is always a good time. Audiences laugh, we laugh… and each time we learn something new about each other and the people who enjoy our work.

We Were Called the Long Island Book Girls (with Mary on the right)

We were so pleased to be joined by our wonderful moderator, Mary Riskind, Director of the Bergenfield Library and the president of BCCL. She did a wonderful job (and a lot of homework) getting this discussion off the ground, then was all too happy to turn it over to the audience for their great questions.

Was also so happy to be there alongside my dear friend and mentor, Dr. Mickey Appleman and to reconnect with children’s author Irene Kelly, fellow novelists Alix Strauss and Pamela Redmond Satran. And what a delight to meet the talented Debra Borden (who has such a great website and is nice as she seems) and the charming debut novelist, Wendy Lee, who works alongside my editor, Lyssa Keusch at Avon.

Saralee Rosenberg, Ellen Meister, Carol Hoenig, Brenda Janowitz and Debra Borden

Carol Hoenig and I With a Witty Retort I'm sure

Finally, here is a quote from organizer Arlene Sahraie, which sums up the day:

“You are all the rock stars of today’s literary scene and I am so thrilled that you could all be part of our maiden voyage!  Every one of you played an important role in making BooksNJ2009 a success and I am very proud of what we accomplished together. I hope you all agree that BooksNJ was a triumph and just plain wonderful.  And for anyone who doesn’t believe in the power of positive thinking, what I call white light, I’ll quote what my office manager said when I walked in this morning, “Six straight days of rain and rain again today and yesterday was perfect.  It’s a miracle!”  So thank you all for the white light.  It works!!!”

No, thank you Arlene. I do hope that after you, your staff and the volunteers recover that you start gearing up for the sequel next year.  Also, I highly recommend that they once again spring for the sunny day package. After a week of driving rain, it was a relief to see tents instead of an ark.

I love great book titles, especially the ones that sum up my life at the moment. The just-released novel by Girlfriends Cyber Circuit author, Judi Fennell, is spot on! It’s called IN OVER HER HEAD (Sourcebooks, June ‘09) and I can relate. Plus, the story is a “natural” for great discussion:

When Erica Peck, one terrified-of-the-ocean marina owner, finds herself at the bottom of the sea conversing with a Mer man named Reel, she thinks she’s died and gone to her own version of Hell. When the Oceanic Council demands she and Reel retrieve a lost cache of diamonds from the resident sea monster in return for their lives, she knows she’s died and gone to Hell.

When they escape the monster and end up on a deserted island, she amends her opinion - she’s died and gone to Heaven.

But when Reel sacrifices himself to allow her to return to her world, she realizes that, Heaven or Hell, with Reel, she’s In Over Her Head.

What people are saying:

“Nora Roberts? Danielle Steel? Much acclaimed romance writers should step aside. There is a new romance writer in town and she is certainly causing a great splash with her debut novel, In Over Her Head.”

-ABibliophile.com

“I truly found a pearl in my oyster when I read this delightful tale. I was surprised how good of a book In Over Her Head is. It is extremely well-written, the storyline flows and I was hooked from the first page.”

-LongAndShortReviews.blogspot.com

“IN OVER HER HEAD is a delightful, quirky blend of humor, adventure and passion. All in all, this is a fast, fun read and a great way to spend a snowy afternoon or a sunny day at the beach.”

-Lynda K. Scott, Star-Crossed Romance

“In Over Her Head is a heartwarming, but action-packed story of two people-one human and the other of the seaworthy body-joined together in an adventure. I enjoyed this story immensely.”

-Dawn M. Ekinia, Armchair Interviews

“A delightful underwater adventure… full of good-natured humor and fun. A strong first effort by a promising new talent.”

-Romantic Times

“A playful debut… sincere wit.”

-Publisher’s Weekly

About The Author:

Judi Fennell has had her nose in a book and her head in some celestial realm all her life, including those early years when her mom would exhort her to “get outside!” instead of watching Bewitched or I Dream of Jeannie on television. So she did–right into Dad’s hammock with her Nancy Drew books.

These days she’s more likely to have her nose in her laptop and her head (and the rest of her body) at her favorite bookstore, but she’s still reading, whether it be her latest manuscript or friends’ books.

A three-time finalist in online contests, Judi has enjoyed the reader feedback she’s received and would love to hear what you think about her Mer series. Check out her website at www.JudiFennell.com for excerpts, reviews and fun pictures from reader and writer conferences, and the chance to “dive in” to her stories.

Contest

To celebrate the release of each of her books, Judi Fennell and the Atlantis Inn (www.AtlantisInn.com) and the Hibiscus House (www.HibiscusHouse.com) bed and breakfasts are raffling off three romantic beach getaway weekends. All information is on Judi’s website, www.JudiFennell.com

I asked Judi to answer my most pressing questions about the writer’s life and her latest book. Here is what she said:

If you could get a rave review in “People” magazine, what would you want it to say about your new book? “Finny, funny, punny and smart. A great beach read. Don’t miss Judi Fennell’s debut!”

Writing a letter can be daunting. How do you even begin the process of writing a novel? Does it start with a title? A character?A plot? All or none of the above? Each story is different for me. Sometimes it’s a situation, sometimes it’s a line or a character. Sometimes it’s the black moment. With In Over Her Head, it was the idea of making him a Mer and her a Human. Then I had to figure out their conflict then how to get her in the ocean. Once I got that, I just started writing. The story flowed linearly, which can’t be said about others.

I have to print off every draft page, which means that by the time I’m done, I’ve gone through two trees in Oregon. What is your process of getting out a first whole draft? How long might it take? My deadlines for Books 2 and 3 (Wild Blue Under and Catch of a Lifetime) are pretty tight so I don’t have the luxury I had with In Over Her Head, but I tend not to print it out until I’m at the point that I’m satisfied with it before sending it off to a critique partner. I print it then on 2 column pages and go through it that way, make any corrections and off it goes. As for drafts… I tend to backtrack every time I open the story over what I just wrote (a chapter or two) so it’s always getting edited as I move forward. Track Changes in MSWord is my friend, especially the Insert Comment feature.

Do you have show and tell with your first draft? Who do you trust for honest reaction, or is so fragile you show it to one you love who you know will be kind? The friends I ask to look at it are critique partners and we’re beyond the “hurt feelings” stage. I want it to be good; I want readers to like it and I want all the necessary parts to be there. I know that they’re responding to the story, not me personally, so I want their thoughts, not any sweetening of their thoughts. Just give it to me so I can get working on fixing/expanding/clarifying, etc.

What is one of the nicest compliments that you have ever received about your book(s)? The author quotes have been amazing. How exciting and wonderful to have authors I’ve read like what I’ve written! Also, I had a bookseller who’d gotten an Advanced Reading Copy of In Over Her Head email me to tell me that she loved the book. She wasn’t a Romance reader and had picked it up for a friend, but opened it to see if it could capture her interest and found she couldn’t put it down and will buy the rest of my books when they come out. That was just amazing to me.

My author fantasy is to have one of my novels optioned by Clint Eastwood and he insists that I write the screenplay adaptation. What is your author fantasy? I’ll take yours as well, but I’d like Spielberg. And I win the Oscar.

What has brought you the greatest joy since you were published, and what has caused you the greatest angst? Reader feedback is the best thing. Knowing that what I’ve written has given someone a few good hours of enjoyment. I hadn’t realized how it would feel. Not really. I don’t think you can until it happens. The greatest angst? Deadlines. So different from unpubbed when you could work on the story as the mood hit, now you have to make the mood hit. That can be tough, especially when real life intervenes.

Please look for IN OVER HER HEAD, in addition to Judi’s other fun, romantic tales: Wild Blue Under and Catch of a Lifetime. Check out her site: www.JudiFennell.com

So I’m in a sequel-thinking mode, not because I’m writing a sequel to one of my novels just yet, but because I entered a fun contest sponsored by the very cool New York publishing group, Perseus Books. In anticipation of the upcoming BEA (Book Expo America) which starts this Friday at the Javitz Center, they challenged authors (and other people who have a lot of free time) to take a stab at writing the first sentence of a sequel for any book previously published, and then give it a great, new title. The contest is called Book: The Sequel (I hope the submissions are much more creative than THAT title!) www.bookthesequel.com

On May 30, Perseus will select a winner from among the thousands of entries, and then like a death-defying circus act, attempt a stunt that has never been tried before. Using an Espresso print-on-demand machine (which hopefully whips up lattes at the same time), they will publish a new, pre-written, 10,000 word book within 48 hours, then edit, design, produce, sell and promote it, all in time for a launch party in their booth. “The idea,” said chief marketing officer Rick Joyce, “is to disprove the notion that book publishing is a technology backwater.”

I’m not sure I share Mr. Joyce’s conviction about the publishing world,  but I was curious to see what my addled brain could spit out.  Here were my three submissions in order of save the best for last.

3. Fear of Crying (a sequel to Fear of Flying by Erica Jong): Life has no pilot, no script, and sadly, no director to cover your fat, incompetent ass when you can’t perform your required tasks, but of this I am sure- there will always be characters with whom you must engage, who know your real story and who are forever on the cusp of sharing.

2. Eat, Pray, Guv: Eliot Spitzer’s Spiritual Return to Albany (a sequel to Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert): David Paterson couldn’t wait to reach Silda with the news that would hopefully send him home- Onondaga and Herkimer counties would go for Eliot in a heartbeat.

1. The Devil Wears Nada (a sequel to The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger): “Andrea, it’s Miranda, and don’t bore with your I-don’t-have-to-take-your-call-I-quit nonsense, I’m standing in the middle of my proctologist’s office waiting to hear what overpriced procedure he has in store to get rid of a polyp the size of a pea, and please spare me with your infantile retort about how I deserve something up my ass- the problem is that they handed me a flimsy gown from Wal Mart in a color blech I haven’t seen since the Germans invaded Austria, and I need you to bring me an Armani coat NOW, but please God, don’t embarrass me with one from last year’s collection!”

Let me know if you think any of these have a shot, and I’ll let you know if Perseus declares me a winner. To be honest, I’ve been reading some of the other entries on the contest site, and can see that I have some stiff competition.

Meanwhile, may the best writer win and may Perseus be successful in proving their point that a good book doesn’t need two years lead time to produce. It does, however, need a publisher’s support to get the word out. Hope other publishers are listening!

It’s that time again- when every print ad and commercial  shouts, “We KNOW What Your Mother Wants for Mother’s Day. No really, we do!” They crack me up. Their presumptuousness reminds me of the old George Carlin line about movie ads that say, coming soon to a theater near you, to which he would snipe, “Oh yeah?  How do they know where I live?”

So it is with feign interest that I perused the newspaper ads this morning to see what retailers and companies were touting this year- what products and services they were trying to convince my family that I could not live without. Of course there were the usual suspects- the candy, the flowers and a total beauty makeover, because what mother would not love smartlipo MX, non-invasive skin tightening, a neck and brow lift and endolaser for large veins? Yep. Happy Mothers Day, Mom. We love you, but God are you getting old and ugly. And don’t actually eat the chocolate- we’d hate for you to mess up that tummy tuck, which cost an arm and a leg.

Then, there are the ads for the more non-traditional type presents. A gift card for Swim King so Mom can pick up her favorite pool chemicals, because Lord knows that she doesn’t want less than crystal clear water on her special day. Of course what she’d really like is for someone OTHER than her to bend and pick up the leaves, mice, and science experiments with algae that are coagulating in the deep end.

How about the ad for the big Mother’s Day celebration over at the local pet shelter? Yes, of course, adopting stray animals is a wonderfully humanitarian thing to do, but is this what Mom needs? The opportunity to rescue yet another family member and be responsible for their total well being? At least cats and dogs don’t need cell phones, nor can they text from school saying they want to come home NOW because everyone is being so mean and it’s not their fault that they failed the math test because Ms. Solodakis is a moron and didn’t tell them what was going to be on it!

Then there are the classic Mother’s Day ads for all those wallet-busting designer goods. Don’t we all dream of opening a box with eight-inch snake-print espadrilles with fabric bows? The price is $200, not including six weeks of PT and a round of cortisone shots.  What about a $500 printed canvas bag that holds a lipstick, a cell phone, one form of ID and a bottle of your favorite meds? According to Barneys, Mom DESERVES this. No, Barney, what Mom deserves is a butler to carry all her crap and to fetch a bottle of Evian when her throat becomes parched from screaming at her kids all day long.

This year’s grand prize, however, goes to designer Judith Leiber. You know her work. She sells pocketbooks that cost as much as condos but can barely hold a car key. This year she offers a pig-shaped, multicolored, Austrian crystal pillbox. It will only set your loved ones back $625. And if you call before midnight, Neiman Marcus will also throw in the Ginsu knives. Really? Every mother is pining for a tiny, stone-studded pillbox to remind that  if not for the tiny, stone-studded medications inside, she might have to live with disease, disorder and dysfunction? Say nothing of the fact that in the midst of our swine flu crazed world, is a pig-shaped anything the best gift idea?

As for what I really, really want this Mother’s Day? Same thing I want every year. For my husband and my kids to gather, share a lot of laughs and to express in their own words, why they love me and feel blessed to have me in their lives. That’s it. The rest of this stuff means nada! Although they better take me out to dinner. I’d hate to spend my special day in the bathroom recovering from something I cooked. Oh believe me, it’s happened.

This was on my to-do list for today:

• Scan my daughter’s Facebook photos to check out her latest adventure abroad and to make sure that it didn’t involve a combination of alcohol and a Florentine named Alonzo.
• Poke around my news feed to see wuz up with my growing universe of friends (I was shocked to learn that when I broke the 100 mark it wasn’t a world’s record).  BTW, is there anyone left who did not become a fan of Susan Boyle? And is it just me, or does it seem that every seven seconds, someone posts 1000 baby pictures? Yes, yes, they’re all adorable but show me something clever like a two-year old playing poker or an infant watching Seinfeld and laughing
• Say something clever on Twitter.  I am at a loss for words and only have 67 characters left before I’m totally screwed but fortunately I thought of something. I really don’t like Twitter.
• Update my Linked In profile to make sure that the six people who follow me have the very latest information on my whereabouts. Oh wait. That’s Twitter
• Read my favorite blogs and comment on them provided I can correctly identify the secret code in the little box, which only makes me feel bad for those who are visually impaired or who are working without benefit of their reading glasses because they stepped on them, rolled their chair over on them, sat on them or drove over them (I’ve done all four).
• Check my Amazon ranking, Google Analytics and my Weight Watchers points to see how I am faring numerically… Let’s see. My ranking dropped six hundred thousand points, but fortunately this has no bearing on the Dow… 100 less people visited my website this week, but yay, there was a 15% increase in new users who found me after going to the Sara Lee Bakery site…. Speaking of cake, it’s only 11 AM and according to my food diary, I have eaten all of my points and will have to subsist on endamame  unless I borrow against tomorrow’s points, although I still haven’t paid back last weeks points yets and there is still one box of Rocky Road macaroons in the cabinet.  Time for the electrical tape!
• Check WordPress to see if there are any comments on my latest blog waiting to be approved. No? There  are none? Not even spam? Damn those filters work good.
• Gotta dance. Gotta make the donuts. Gotta keep up with this blog or else… or else…. I have no idea. You tell me.

Now here’s the thing. All of these items on my to-do list take valuable time and effort, say nothing of inspiration and determination. Question is, to what end? There is a no-refund policy on precious minutes wasted answering the quiz, 5 Places You’d Like to Live if You Married Rich or any improvement to mankind when we watch a You Tube video of Friday Night Cranks. Makes me wonder about going cold turkey and becoming a social network drop out. Just disappearing from the radar, never to be heard from again.

Nice concepet if you can get it, but oh look. Someone just friended me.  Who cares if Ididn’t like them in high school? Can’t wait to check out their photos. Wow. Here’s a headline: Former Cheerleader Ate A Year’s Worth of Points in one Week!

Mystery thrillers are, well, a mystery to me.  Not only I am in awe of writers who consistently turn out suspenseful, hang-on-to-your-hats stories, I wonder how they sleep at night. Do they wake up in terror that a character they created is going to personally pay a visit? Do they hear strange noises in their quiet house and immediately think they are in danger? Frankly, I couldn’t write those kinds of books. Life is scary enough without having to invent terrifying situations.  But that being said, I know that the courageous writers who aren’t afraid to look under their kids’s beds at night or walk through an empty parking garage at 3AM have a great following for a reason.

That is why I am excited to tell you about a new book from my awesome writer’s group, The Girlfriends Cyber Circuit. We are a group of talented women authors who help one another get the word out when we have a great new read to introduce. This month, I am happy to welcome our newest member, mystery writer, April Henry. She has teamed up co-author, Lis Wiehl (a legal analyst on Fox) and just released a Triple Threat Mystery called FACE OF BETRAYAL.

Here is the story: When 17-year-old Senate page Katie Converse goes missing on her Christmas break near her parents’ Victorian home in Portland, Ore., law enforcement and the media go into overdrive in a search for clues. Three friends at the pinnacle of their respective careers–Allison Pierce, a federal prosecutor; Cassidy Shaw, a crime reporter; and Nicole Hedges, an FBI special agent–soon discover that Katie wasn’t the picture of innocence painted by her parents. Did Katie run away to escape their stifling demands? Was she having an affair with the senator who sponsored her as a page? Has she been kidnapped? Is she the victim of a serial killer?

About the Authors
Don’t mess with April. She knows how to kill you in a two-dozen different ways. She makes up for a peaceful childhood in an intact home by killing off fictional characters. April had one detour on her path to destruction: when she was 12 she sent a short story about a six-foot tall frog who loved peanut butter to noted children’s author Roald Dahl. He liked it so much he arranged to have it published in an international children’s magazine.

By the time she was in her 30s, April had come to terms with her childhood and started writing about hit men, drug dealers, and serial killers. She has published six mysteries and thrillers, with five more under contract. Her books have gotten starred
reviews, been on Booksense (twice!), translated into four languages, short-listed for the Oregon Book Award, and chosen as a Quick Pick by the American Library Association.

April co-wrote Face of Betrayal with Lis Wiehl, a legal analyst on FOX. They have a contract for three more Triple Threat mysteries.

Great Buzz:
Publishers Weekly
“A sizzling political thriller… The seamless plot offers a plethora of twists and turns.”

Romantic Times:
4.5 stars [and they don’t give out five stars] “Wiehl and Henry have penned a winner that seems to come straight from the headlines. Captivating suspense, coupled with tightly written prose, will entertain and intrigue.”

Ingram:
“Readers are in for a treat as trial lawyer/commentator Lis Wiehl and mystery author April Henry team up for a political thriller.”

Links:
April’s Website: aprilhenrymysteries.com
April’s blog: aprilhenry.livejournal.com

Last week, April was good enough to answer my questions:

If you could get a rave review in “People” magazine, what would you want it to say about your new book?

“You won’t want to put down this page-turning crowd-pleaser with a twist you won’t see coming. This is already slated for the big screen next year.”

Writing a letter can be daunting. How do you even begin the process of writing a novel? Does it start with a title? A character?A plot? All or none of the above?

Since I write mysteries and thrillers, I’m all about the plot. I start with a “What if?” Take a stand alone book I’m working on now. What if a pizza delivery girl was kidnapped? How would they search for her? What if evidence convinced the authorities she was dead? What if her friends were equally convinced that she was still alive?

I have to print off every draft page, which means that by the time I’m done, I’ve gone through two trees in Oregon. What is your process of getting out a first whole draft? How long might it take?
Since I live in Oregon, I demand that you show me where those two trees used to be.

I do most of my writing and editing on the computer.  Sometimes I outline; sometimes I don’t. For these joint books with Lis Wiehl, we will go back and forth on the plot until we have a basic idea of where we want to go, then most of the writing is done on the computer. It’s only when we’re revising a final draft that I print things out. Now that’s I’m not working full time, I could probably write a book in six months – maybe less.

Do you have show and tell with your first draft? Who do you trust for honest reaction, or is so fragile you show it to one you love who you know will be kind?

When it’s a chapter, I’ll often read it aloud to my 13 year old daughter. She has an impeccable ear for clunkiness, and just hearing myself reading it aloud helps.

Anything I’m not certain about I might show my friend (and author in her own right) Debby Garfinkle. I’m confident enough now of my relationship with my agent that I will also show her a partial and ask her what she thinks. And for my mysteries, I’ll ask my friend and fellow author Gregg Main what he thinks.

What is one of the nicest compliments that you have ever received about your book(s)?

Seeing kids on myspace who say they hate to read but love my young adult books.

Whose writing talent do you greatly admire, and which successful author makes you want to gobsmack your head because you cannot believe they’ve had a bestseller(s)?

Scott Turow writes wonderful books that make me totally believe in them. On the flip side, I loved Scott Smith’s first book, but I HATED The Ruins. With a passion. The thing was, I think the author hated his characters.  He mocked them, tortured them, and then he killed them. All of them. They all died.

What has brought you the greatest joy since you were published, and what has caused you the greatest angst?

Bad reviews, even if they are just on someone’s blog. I wince. I can barely look even at good reviews.

Thanks April! Best of look with your mystery series and sweet dreams!

Great questions from Book Club Moderator, Donna Diamond

In the the nearly twenty years since my first book was published (a non-fiction guide to relocating to Florida), I have been interviewed by newspaper and magazine reporters, radio and TV talk show hosts, book club leaders and of late, bloggers. I have been asked great questions, silly questions, lame questions and questions for which there was no real answer, only a chance for the interviewer to hear himself show off his literary prowess.

I have been interviewed by the greats (Oprah), the likable (Connie Chung), the memorable (a morning TV show host in Cleveland who picked his nose when we went to commercial) and the extremely knowledgeable (Larry Davidson- a book maven from Long Island who rivals James Lipton when it comes to doing his homework).

In response, I have been witty, serious, introspective (why do all of my books have airport and hospital scenes- I have no clue) and downright embarrassed (note to self: memorize your character’s names from your earlier books so that you don’t sound like you didn’t read the book let alone write it).

Frankly, I have heard myself answer enough questions that I am ready to take a breather. Now I would like to turn the tables and do one-on-one interviews with readers. If you have read one or more of my books and would like me to interview you for this blog, shoot me an e-mail (saralee@saraleerosenberg.com).

It is not imperative that you loved my  book(s) although of course if you didn’t, I’m going to ask why not. But here is what I really want to know- who are you reading and what do you think; if you were an agent or editor, what kind of books would you love to land on your desk; how do you decide what to read; how much time do you give a book before  you quit on it, what books have changed you, annoyed you, overjoyed you… Are you in? Hope so.

Meanwhile, back to the interviews. I am preparing for an upcoming podcast called “Coffee with an Author” on  www.ijusfinished.com. It’s part of the Blog Talk Radio network and it will air live next Monday, April 20 at 11AM EST- a whole hour of chat with book lover host Naomi Giroux and myself. I hope to hear myself say something pithy and new. I’m sure Naomi hopes the same thing.

Stay tuned!

I am a big fan of vacations, meditations, relaxation and any other ation that renews your spirit and is still legal. So naturally,  articles about the latest experiences that promise soothing benefits will catch my eye. But of late, I am reading things that give me pause.  Have we exhausted all the good forms of enlightenment and are now down to the you’re-joking, that’s-crazy methods? I thought that some spa treatments were way out there, like the hot herbal seaweed wraps that are not to be confused with your lunch. But get a load of these up and coming treatments in the name of wellness:

Ear Coning… Sounds like something a mean teacher would do to a kid who misbehaved in class. But no, this is a powerful, ancient healing art, also knows as ear candling, that was used in initiation ceremonies by the Egyptians, Mayans, Tibetans and nasty frat boys during Hell Week. Sadly the fine art was lost to modern civilization until the ladies who thread your eyebrows brought it back.

Ear coning offers emotional clearing, auric cleansing, realignment of the subtle energy flows,sharpening of mental functioning, detoxification of the sinus and lymph systems and mostly, it promises to  clear out the debris from nerve endings allowing for clear vibrational flow.

Those sounds like good things, but not sure I’d enjoy having a fired cone with herbal smoke blowing in my ear canal, unless perhaps the cone was attached to Brad Pitt. Meanwhile, they say that this is a very relaxing and non invasive experience, with the healing part coming from eleven blends of oils and extracts like Easter Lily, Sagebrush and Cat’s Ears.  It seems a tad witch-crafty to me, but if you know someone who never listens to you, this could be the cure!

Faceology…  I like facials and the immediate results- a nice, healthy glow and a smooth, silky skin that can only come with somebody slapping nice-smelling goop on your face for an hour. But faceology is different. It’s like going ten rounds in the ring with a heavyweight boxer and not coming out the champ.

In wellness centers in California, you can get a 90-minute treatment that is a combination of reiki, reflexology and emotional-freedom techniques.  What is an emotional freedom technique and does it hurt worse than a bikini wax performed by an angry Russian woman? This is where it gets a little dicey. According to the article, even though the treatment is for your face, you have to get naked or the bad energy won’t have any exit points (I’m trying to imagine little flashing signs that say, Bad Energy This Way).  Next they butter you up with microdermabrasion crystals like lavender and cloves followed by serums and oils so you’re ready to pop into the oven. Then comes the tap, tap, tapping, which turns out to be more like banging on your facial bones with a stone pestle. All this to ease your tension and get rid of negative energy. Isn’t that what a good bottle of red wine is for? And chocolate?

Embedded Foods…  Speaking of chocolate, it represents my favorite food group and lucky me.  Today there is a product called Intentional Chocolate, a box of six raspberry triangles that is loaded with monks’ meditations. Or how about H2OM, which comes embedded positivity? I’m not making this up. The latest trend in foods are enlightened edibles and apparently like ear coning, they have been around for centuries. Then again so have men with a terrible sense of direction.

Anyway, if you are inclined to indulge, you can buy H2OM’s  bottled water infused with wishes for love, joy and good health, and Intentional Chocolates use special recording devices to capture the electromagnetic brain waves of meditating Tibetan monks so that their good vibes can be spread over their candy, which will improve your mood by 67%. Of course so will winning the lottery, but the candy is a sure thing.

Gimmicky? Probably. Then again, what do you think water blessed by the Pope goes for on Ebay? Don’t ask. Meanwhile, count on me to keep you up to date on the latest developments in spiritual renewal. Although frankly, a good movie and a big bag of popcorn are still my preferred antidotes of choice.